The Creeps at the Gym – A Guest Post by Olivia Martin

May 14, 2013

Firends Talking at the gym

This is a guest post by Olivia Martin. Olivia is a frequent contributor to health and lifestyle blogs (whens she is not sweating it out at the gym). She lives in Tampa, Florida with her husband

I suppose you could say that I am a gym rat. I guess. If I’m not forward folding in hot yoga, I’m kettlebell swinging in the gym or push pressing in Crossfit. So yeah, ok gym rat.

Because of this, I’ve gotten a good survey on all of the gyms in my area and know which ones I like and which ones I don’t. I currently go to a major fitness chain in my area and have found that if I hit the one up near the mall, I will be surrounded by hot twenty-somethings (hey, that’s me!) covered head-to-toe in a $200 workout outfit (hey, that’s not me!). If I go to the one near the business parks, I will be surround by older men with superiority issues. And then there’s the one I go to. It’s smack dab in the middle of everything. It has some of the pricy outfits, some of the older dudes and then a whole lot of normal thrown about.

I skip the second gym because I don’t like being surrounded by higher ups who think they are entitled to their section of the gym at all times and I skip the first one because let’s face it, it’s a bone zone gym. People go there to hit on each other and look hot. I’m not into it. I don’t want to be talked to, let alone hit on while I’m in the middle of a 30 box jump set.

However, there’s something about pretty girls (like me and you!) who actually work out at the gym. It doesn’t really matter where you go, someone is going to bother you. They’ll come up to you right at that moment when your music is pounding and you’re about to vomit.

So for shigs, I thought I would compile a list of all the awful, weird and awkward things guys have said to me at the gym.
I wear Vibrams, you know those funky toe shoes (I know, the’yre weird, but great), so a lot of people approach me about them:

“Do those shoes make your toes smell weird?”

“Do you feel like a cave man wearing them?”
Sometimes, I do a little yoga before or after a strenuous workout to stretch out my muscles…

“I saw you doing that bendy thing awhile ago. It’d be cool if you and I did that together…”

“Wow, you’re sooo flexible” –insert creepy smile here.
I like to run on the treadmill before jumping into a workout.

“Are you ever afraid your boobs are going to hit you in your face?”
In the middle of a heavy deadlift

“Do you need a spot? You should really poke your butt out more when you get to bottom.”
Just plain odd…

“Didn’t I see you at Adam & Eve buying that sex swing the other day?”

“Wanna come get sweaty with me?”

“I really like that motion you’re making right now.” –referencing a hammer curl.
People are weird. I don’t think the gym is a place for getting dates, but if you’re going to do it. Just wait until the person isn’t panting to death, say hey and don’t try to correct their form. But really, if you want to hit on a girl at the gym, skip over the girl who is actually working out. Put your sights on the chick who’s wearing a full face of make up, on her cell phone and sitting at the leg press machine with the pin in at 30lbs, anxiously looking around to see if anyone noticed she did a full set. She’s looking for your attention; we’re not. Try again.

What weird things have guys said to you while you were working out?


Gotta Go Back In Time….

January 20, 2012

HBO has been showing the Back to the Future Trilogy around the clock this month. In my opinion, I think this is awesome, simply because Back to the Future is one of my all time favorite movies. My parents actually took me to see this in the movie theater… where my father fell asleep 15 minutes in to the film and thought the whole movie was about Lybian terrorists taking over a mall. I’m not positive, but he may still believe this is the plot of the movie.

Anyway, one of the many things that bothers me in the trilogy, beyond the lack of flying cars (as I mentioned last week) and the many issues I have with the hic-ups in the space-time continuum, is the two Jennifers. Now in Back to the Future we have “Original Jennifer” who is played by Claudia Wells. She tries to keep Marty from getting a tardy from Principle Strictland, she cheers on Marty and his band the Pinheads when they try out for the dance, and of course if it wasn’t for her note on the back of the Save the Clock Tower flyer which contained all the pertinent information about the lightning strike, would Marty have really have made it back to the future? I think that flyer would have been tossed and Marty would have ended up taking over Goldie Wilson’s job at the diner. Although her screen time is lacking, her role is instrumental in getting Marty back to 1985.

Now in Back to the Future II and III, we have “New Jennifer” (as I like to refer to the Jennifer played by Elisabeth Shue). Let me be clear – I love Elisabeth Shue. She is a wonderful actress.She is wonderful as Allie in Karate Kid, Chris in Adventures in Babysitting (and does a hell of a blues song), Jordan in Cocktail, Sera in Leaving Las Vegas (for which she was nominated for an Academy Award – loosing to Susan Sarandon in Dead Man Walking) and my personal favorite, Lori Craven in Soapdish. If you have the oportunity to see the movie “Hamlet 2” with Steve Coogan, you can see the admiration many have for Ms. Shue. That being said….I really can’t stand “New Jennifer”.

New Jennifer seems cheesy and fake. We have the terrible dye job they did on Elisabeth’s blonde locks. Her outfit is frumpy and not very stylish (even by 80′s standards). Plus, Elisabeth seems like she is trying too hard in the role. She is incredibly enthusiastic, but lacks that subtle sultriness that Ms. Wells exuded as Original Jennifer. Here is a you tube video of the original scene versus the reshot scene for Part II and tell me what you think.

Incidently, the reason Claudia Wells was replaced by Elisabeth Shue was due to Ms. Well acting hiatus so she could care for her mother who had been diagnosised with cancer.

We can get in to my issues with the space-time continuum next week, for now let me know your thoughts on the Jennifer Paradox


More Fabulous Sweedish Imports – Alexander Skarsgard

July 28, 2011
Actor Alexander Skarsgård - "True Blood&q...

Image via Wikipedia

I know we already spoke about Ikea this week, but today I would like to add another Swedish import to my list of favorite things… Alexander Skarsgard.

You may recognize the sexy Swede from Zoolander (he was one of Derek’s really really really ridiculously good-looking roommates who blew up after their trip for Orange Mocha Frappachinos), or as Lady Gaga’s boyfriend who once again met a tragic ending in the video for Paparazzi, but he is most well-known for the role of Eric Northman, the 1000 year old Viking, that has been captivating True Blood fans for the past three seasons. Now as we are entering the fourth season of True Blood, we are really seeing the depth of Mr Skarsgard’s acting abilities.

Spoiler Alert for those of you not up to date with your True Blood!:

This season the viking vampire has had his memory erased by a Harry Potter’s Aunt Petunia (well by Fiona Shaw who played Aunt Petunia in the Potter Films, but who is playing the character of Marnie on True Blood) As a result of Marnie’s spell, Eric is left scared and vulnerable, a drastic contrast to the arrogant and confidant sheriff of Louisiana’s Area 5 (Eric’s job) we all hate to love. This past Sunday, we finally see Sookie give in to the sexual tension that has been building over the past few season and kiss the “new” Eric. Of course, this is probably going to lead to trouble in the long run if you know anything about Sookie’s luck with men. But for now, I will spend my Sunday nights indulging in the sweet, child-like naivety that Alexander Skarsgrd brings to the “New Eric” and will wait in baited breath for the naughty “Old Eric” to be up to his tricks soon enough…. once they figure out how to reverse Aunt Petunia Marnie’s spell. Until then, I’ll just hope he keeps walking around Sookie’s house with out a shirt on!

Anyone else completely smitten with Alexander Skarsgard’s version of Eric Northman? 

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The Great Shrek Debate – Why Prince Charming may not be “The One”

June 27, 2011

This post is dedicated to my dear friend LH, ever committed to finding a happily ever after.

How many times have you heard someone say that they are waiting for Prince Charming? I hear this all the time, from friends, on TV, I’ve even overheard it on the subway! Well I am happy to share with you that I am NOT waiting for Prince Charming, I am waiting for Shrek.

Now, I am sure that this is seems weird to you, and it seems weird to many I have talked to, but give me a chance to defend my stance and it will make more sense… (I’d like to tell readers now, if you have not seen all the Shrek films, there may be some spoilers here. You’ve been warned.)

So for those of you not familiar with the Shrek franchise, Shrek is an ogre living in a swamp. In the first Shrek movie, the law of the land, Lord Farquaad, relocates all fairytale creatures to Shrek’s swamp. In order to get his swamp back, Shrek makes a deal with Lord Farquaad.  Shrek must rescue Princess Fiona from a dragon’s keep, the Farquaad can marry her and become a king and Shrek can have his swamp back. In the course of saving the princess and taking her back to Lord Farquaad’s town of Duloc, Shrek and Princess Fiona end up becoming friends and ultimately falling in love.

In the second and third films, we learn that Prince Charming, son of Princess Fiona’s Fairy Godmother, was supposed to rescue Fiona from the dragon. Unfortunately for him, Shrek got there first. Charming is a little bitter over losing the opportunity to rule the kingdom of Far Far Away to an ogre. As the film series goes on, Shrek is able to find an heir for the kingdom of Far Far Away so he can Princess Fiona can go back to their simple lives living in the swamp.

In the 4th film, Shrek Forever After, Shrek makes a deal with the devious Rumpelstiltskin to trade one day from his past get one day of being a “mean terrible ogre” rather than the domestic dad he has become after marrying Princess Fiona and having ogre baby triplets. Of course sneaky Rumpelstiltskin picks the day that Shrek was born to trade. Turns out, because Shrek was never born, there was no one to “save” Fiona so she managed to “save” her self! Fiona doesn’t need Shrek, or Prince Charming for that matter, she turns in to a badass who can do it all by herself! In order for Shrek to get out of his deal with Rumpelstiltskin, he has to get a kiss from his true love, so he has to win Fiona’s heart all over again.

Most girls want Prince Charming to rescue them, So why, in god’s name am I waiting for Shrek?

Shrek and Me at the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in LA last summer

Shrek isn’t perfect He is flawed, and a bit surly at times. He is insecurity due to a lifetime of judgement from simply being an ogre. He makes mistakes and has a bit of social anxiety. However, at the end of the day, Shrek tries his best, apologizes for his mistakes and tries to learn from them. One of Fiona’s “flaws” in the first films is that she is cursed to become and ogre at sunset every night. She she finally gets “true love’s kiss” from Shrek, she becomes a full-time ogre. Fiona sees this as a negative, but Shrek loves her even more as an ogre. Like Shrek, I try my best, but I am flawed. I am willing to accept a patner who has some flaws, and hope that they will accept me and my flaws just the same, just like Shrek and Fiona.

Like Fiona realizes in Shrek Forever After, I don’t need someone to rescue me. Sure, I have my own issues, but I do not think that a “Prince Charming” is going to come along to make things better. Sure, he might add some happiness and possibly some excitement, but usually potential suitors come with their own set of issues. Let’s look at the Prince Charmings we have seen in the past

  • Fiona’s Prince Charming is a vain, selfish, mama’s boy
  • Snow White’s Prince Charming likes molesting girls when they are in a coma (or he might be a necrophile if he thought she was dead!)
  • Cinderella’s Prince Charming definitely needs to get glasses or maybe consider lasiks eye surgery cause is the man can’t remember what the girl looks like! He needs a SHOE to identify her! Is anyone here an eye doctor!
HELLO?!?!? Do any of these guys sound like a good match to  you?
Remember, there is a reason that “happily ever after” comes at the end of the story… it is the end. Don’t rush to run off with a Prince Charming. Enjoy getting to know a Shrek. There is a whole story that needs to be told before you reach the happily ever after, enjoy the ride!

Why I Might Be a Super Hero – Just Another Blog Post from Your Friendly Neighborhood Souzapalooza!

June 23, 2011

I think I might be superhero…

In my fumbling along the internet I found this interactive tab on the Marvel.com website where you can build your own Superhero. It’s pretty cool, although I will say that the choices are limited for women in comparison to the guys choices, which I understand. It got me thinking about superheroes. They use to be ordinary people just like you and me, and then something happens to them that makes them special. The ones with moral compasses pointed in the general direction of good, usually end up helping people and saving their city (be it Gotham, Metropolis, or New York) from some major catastrophe or mentally unstable villain. They often sacrifice their own personal happiness for the greater good of the world. I am not a reader of comics, but I do watch the superhero films when they come to the big screen (or HBO of course). So I did a little research on Wikipedia and found a list of common traits all super heroes have.

Marvel's Create Your Own Super Hero - Souzapalooza

Ten Requirements for Being a Superhero (per Wikipedia):

1) Extraordinary powers, skills and/or equipment.

Armed with my handy mac probook (and spellcheck), I can blog a post in a single sitting and bring humor and positivity to a reader’s day. I can also run a 12 minute mile and I am a damn good sales person when it comes to pies and baked good.

2) A strong moral code

I believe in the golden rule – One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself; with kindness, compassion, and respect and most importantly, always do your best.

3) A Secret Identity

I do have a real name, but everyone knows me by my superhero alias of SOUZAPALOOZA!

4) A distinctive costume

Why do you think I have all those red shoes?

5) A supporting recurring characters, including the hero’s friends, co-workers and/or love interests, who may or may not know of the superhero’s secret identity

Many I have mentioned on here before but if you have forgotten here are just a few: Ka-Ka, LH, Jobin, D1, Zippy the Derby Girl, Danger Spouse, Jimmy Whispers. Of  course, I can’t forget my loyal sidekick, Cuff Turtle!  I’ll have to get her a cape…although, I think she might fit better in a role like that of Alfred the Butler in Batman since she doesn’t get around very quickly

6) A number of enemies

Actually, I don’t have many enemies right now except for the 15 lbs between me and my goal weight,  however, the Croc Lady’s ruthless attempts to board the train before me might cause her to fall in to the enemy category.

7) Independent Wealth

I’m working on this one. I haven’t managed to gain my independent wealth just yet, but hopefully lotto will pay out soon. But really there are a lot of working super heroes – Superman / Clark Kent is a reporter, Spiderman / Peter Parker is a photographer, Hulk / Dr Bruce Banner – Nucular Physicist.

8 ) Headquarters / Base Camp

Obviously I can’t tell you where this is, but I will say that unlike Cuff Turtle, it is not on my back.

9) Backstory

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world… (I’ll have to work on this one a bit too)

10) Weakness

Ice Cream & HBO Sunday night programing.

Do you think I have what it takes to be a Superhero?


Natalie Portman Has Her Baby!

June 15, 2011
Natalie Portman at the 2009 Toronto Internatio...

Image via Wikipedia

Breaking news from popsugar.com :

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Milapied had a baby boy today!

I said in my Celebrity Sighting post that when I saw her at Stone Barns on June 4th, I thought she would have the baby with in the next two weeks. Look who was right! This Girl!

Congrats Natalie & Benjamin! All the Best!  - Love, Souzapalooza


Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose, Sometimes It Rains

June 10, 2011

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains. – Crash Davis

This is one of my favorite quotes from the movie Bull Durham. I feel like this is applicable to not only baseball, but life.

Yesterday was full of wins, losses, and well, rain.

Wins: 

  • :D My co-worker returned safely from India (and thankfully his father is in much better health now)
  • :D I wore one of my new ‘smaller sized’ dresses
  • :D I am still getting a ton of hits from the celebrity spotting and Glee Review
  • :D I drank 72 oz of water today
  • :D My toilet was fixed by the time I got home (Thank goodness or that 72 oz of water was going to be a problem!)

Losses:

  • :( I had to head home and end my visit with my nieces and nephew.                                                       Seriously, how cute are they?!?!?
  • :( I had to go back to work on the hottest day in NYC to date this year (and man does New York stink when it is hot out!)
  • :( I still haven’t installed my AC
  • :( I haven’t gotten a run in since Monday (but I scored some awesome deals at the Under Armor Outlet on my way back home :D )
  • :( Cuff Turtle knocked her filter over and was splashing water all over the living room again.
  • :( Plans and messages got mixed up so I did not get to see LH & The Secret Agent like originally scheduled

Sometimes it rains…..

Then on the train home, I ran in to Jimmy Whispers. We talked about this and that, passing the time on our ride home. I watched the ominous rain clouds quickly rolling in our direction and the way the trees were bending in the wind. I jokingly told Jimmy he should give me a ride home so I wouldn’t get stuck in the rain. By the looks of the impending storm clouds, by the time I’d reach my stop, it would probably be pouring and both my lap top and I would be soaked.
When we pulled in to Whisper’s stop, he told me he would give me a ride. This was a first and it took me by complete surprise. I’ve ever been in a car with Jimmy and I was quite amazed that he was going out of his way for me. I was so grateful that he did, it was raining so hard I couldn’t see out the windshield and giant pieces of hail were knocking against the car. I’m not going to lie, I was pretty nervous (because of the weather, not Whisper’s driving!) I got home safe and sound, and very thankfully dry!
 ”Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains” 

Why Are We Fascinated With Celebrities?

June 9, 2011

Yesterday, The Souzapalooza Blog had a very big day. My little blog, that usually averages about 50 visitors a week, hit an all time high of 286 hits yesterday! Most of them generated from two blog posts, Spotting Celebrities at Stone Barns – Natalie Portman and Glee Live in Boston – Recap. My post on spotting Natalie Portman at Stone Barns was actually reposted by an administrator on NataliePortman.com, which has been driving traffic to my site the past couple of days. In addition, my Glee Live recap has been coming up in tons of searches most likely due to the event just happening and that it is a big tour this summer. Looking through the stats on some of my other blog postings, the more popular ones tend to be those that have to do with pop culture items and celebrities.

What is it about celebrities that intrigues us? Why are we always wanting to know more? Is it their talent? Their money? Their fame? Why do we choose to listen to their views and opinions? Why do we buy their perfumes, sneakers, clothing lines, or what ever hair color, bone density pills or other random products that they may be endorsing that week?

I bought Rob Lowe’s memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends last month, and why? He is a good-looking successful actor who I was interested in knowing more about because I enjoy his work and admire his sobriety. In reading his book, the thing I really enjoyed is how matter of fact he was in his writing. He weaves tales of growing up in California, and mentions some of the friends that he made along the way; the fact that they were incredibly talented actors (Sean Penn, Chris Penn, Emilio Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Janet Jackson, Sarah Jessica Parker, ect) is just a side note. It isn’t who they are, just what they happened to do.

At the end of the day, they are just people. No better than each of us. They may seem like a ‘big deal’ but remember, you have your own unique awesomeness and you should let it shine brightly!


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